3/24
There I was
Hot and bothered
At my tits end
I don’t hate people
I just really hurt when living with people
Brandt Maina | RIOA wa RIOE, I AM FREE ( Sept 2022), No. 3/ 24 from "Prophetic Charcoal Dreams" (September 2022)
12 x 16 in
charcoal, oil and chalk pastel, ink on paper
So there was
Making hot chocolate
Stealing warmth
Steaming with frustration
There are boxes in the middle of the kitchen
There were boxes in the middle of the dinning room all weekend long
There were boxes in front of the door and just below the stairs
There were boxes you had to step over to get into the pantry
There were boxes you had to step over to get out of the pantry
There were…
There is a clattering of trash and smattering stuffs, a fuck-load of someone’s somethings everywhere and in your way at all times
There is an implosion going on somewhere inside me
Tucked away kindly
What do you do when they can't meet your need because they simply can't meet their own
Loving is Easy, but Hard
Brandt Maina | RIOA wa RIOE, Edi Tedd: suddenly, i am a car guy (Nov 17 2022 8:29pm)
4032 x 3024
digital photograph,
Brandt Maina | RIOA wa RIOE, Un Edited: suddenly, i am a clown goy (Nov 17 2022 8:29pm)
4032 x 3024
digital photograph
I digress
There I was
Fuming
Boiling my second pot of water because I had already let the last pot burn through with my absent-mindedness
From the periphery
My roommates walk out of the house all dressed up
A witch, a welder with a heart, and a literal traffic cone
Rattatatata
But softer
Pitter patter Thomp
Scomp
Tap tap tap
Are they back?
Who the Fünke is at the door at this late and rainy hour
Brandt Maina | RIOA wa RIOE, I am hallucinating triangles (Nov 17 2022 8:25pm)
4032 x 3024
digital photograph
Brandt Maina | RIOA wa RIOE, Univega: apparently everyone's first bike (Nov 17 2022 8:23pm)
4032 x 3024
digital photograph
Ssssck
“Trick or treat”
A bundle of little girls is huddling at my doorstep
Fairies and angels and goblins and ghoulish superheroes
It’s 7:07pm October 31st 2022
“Oh, shoot, I totally forgot that’s today.”
I didn’t but I did, but I didn’t.
In my head, still, such scenes only happen in the fragmented reality of American movies
“Okay…”
A chorus, soft young disappointment
The former opera singer closes the door
Halloween is my favorite holiday
But I never celebrate it
I don't hate the holidays
I hurt
Pitter patter
Titter tatter
The rain carries exhaustion away from the racing rat
Vroom vroom
I don’t hate people
I just really hurt when living with other people’s boxed and unboxed boxes in a box within a box within a block of boxes where children sing with wide Honest and loving-Accepting
They wore their kindness in their eyes
They exhaled Sympathy and walked away
They felt sad for me
That I was missing out
Brandt Maina | RIOA wa RIOE, detain from I AM FREE ( Sept 2022), No. 3/ 24 from "Prophetic Charcoal Dreams" (September 2022)
12 x 16 in
charcoal, oil and chalk pastel, ink on paper
Mhhhh I thought something rather intelligent and funny yesterday
Somewhat profound maybe
Hm
Blah blah blah Thought thought thought
Yes yes
Life
Death
And the profundity of lost memories
Where do they go?
They have Know Where to run but between your head
So how can they leave
Are they not trapped inside your eyes
Are they not left wherever you last felt them
“No! Where?”
*searching earnestly
Brandt Maina | RIOA wa RIOE, detain from I AM FREE ( Sept 2022), No. 3/ 24 from "Prophetic Charcoal Dreams" (September 2022)
12 x 16 in
charcoal, oil and chalk pastel, ink on paper
And there it is
Right there
Swirling like a galaxy with a Black Hole at it’s center
I AM ANCHORED to the Universe,
Grounded into Time
🌞🤲🏽
How have we forgotten what we’ve always know
Breathe against the Dark Matter that has always been there
The particles which push the Life right out of you
The Light
Let your Fear go
Embrace the Dark Silks which stroke your face
And let them scrape bristles of whirlwind between your thigh
🌞🤲🏽
Breathe against the Dark Matter that has always been there
The particles which pull the Light back into you
Ignite
Let your Pain glow into Self-less Love
Embrace the Bright Blood of star dust
Let them fill fresh flowers into your mouth
Brandt Maina | RIOA wa RIOE, detain from I AM FREE ( Sept 2022), No. 3/ 24 from "Prophetic Charcoal Dreams" (September 2022)
12 x 16 in
charcoal, oil and chalk pastel, ink on paper
Oh, wait
I keep forgetting that we’re on dying planet
Oh, same?
Cool, cool
Remember to Forget
I am making a raft to hold onto
And if you’re reading this, you are in it
Yes, you, yes yes
You are, You are!
And you and me
We Are, I AM
HERE
But
I keep forgetting that we’re dying
Ambrosia and Hubris
Forget to Remember
For that is the fault of Youth
I AM CLEANSING PATIENCE AS OLD AS TIME
Brandt Maina | RIOA wa RIOE, Thelonious Tacos, it's a Jungle Out There (Nov 17 2022 6:00pm)
4032 x 3024
digital photograph
Brandt Maina | RIOA wa RIOE, detain from I AM FREE ( Sept 2022), No. 3/ 24 from "Prophetic Charcoal Dreams" (September 2022)
12 x 16 in
charcoal, oil and chalk pastel, ink on paper
Nov 1st 10:31pm
White orange slices
A dark cloud coats over the Quarter Moon
Life is the game no soccer mom could ever prepare you for
RUN BRANDT RUN
FASTER FASTER RUN
DIG DEEEEEEP RUN, BABY, RUN
The weight of supporting a whole being should not be this hard
Boo hoo
Boo hoo
You FLucking whiner
Draining complaints into anyone who will listen to you
Can’t this
Can’t that
Life is hard
Mye mye
Shut the snuck up and hold me
I AM HERE
Let Darkness swaddle Us with Hope
Lift into Life
Love Forgiveness
Atomic Sine
Blessings upon Blessings
Angelic Cosine
*speaking in Pentecostal tongues con tangerines
There is nothing without Darkness, cuties
What is the weight of a Sunbeam though Time
Where does it start?
Is it a crime
A sign that it lingers, to breathe Healing into the abandonment of this Black gay skin
Growing pains
A Boy and His Kite
Tall Shadows bathed in sunsets
A strong grey Absence shaped with Moonlight
No One et al.
No One is coming to save us
No One is coming to save me
I AM No One
I AM ALL
I AM ONE
I AM, I AM
HOLDING THE KEY
I AM FREE
“The past links to today, it gives you the power for today”
Brandt Maina | RIOA wa RIOE, Edi Tedd: Monica's Cat as a Reclining He/They (Nov 17 2022 8:46pm)
dimensions vary
digital photograph
“Discovering more joy does not, I’m sorry to say, save us from the inevitability of hardship and heartbreak. In fact, we may cry more easily and laugh more easily too. Perhaps we are just more alive. Yet as we discover more joy, we can face suffering in a way that ennobles rather than embitters. We have hardship without becoming hard. We have heartbreaks without being broken.”
-Desmond Tutu